Forgiveness Takes Practice
Wednesday, August 27, 2025
written by Rev. Dr. Mike Hegeman
There was a TV series, about a decade ago, where the main character had oversight of Hell. Now the show had its own mythology about the denizens of the nether regions, not really matching with a biblical picture, yet it had some insights into human nature worth noting. The one defining aspect of what Hell is, according to this show, is that those who end up there only do so because they keep remembering the most regrettable moment of their lives in a never-ending loop. These people relive the worst moment in their life, about which they feel the most guilt or regret. For them, there is no escape from the little after-life prisons they have created for themselves. Whether this is a genuine reflection of Hell or not, this portrayal seems to capture the mental and emotional suffering that we create during our lives: constantly reliving one moment from one’s life, never getting to change it or rewrite the outcome, suffering again and again through the emotions of that moment, never letting it go. In this Hell, there is no relief from guilt, shame, fear, resentment or regret. This is Hell. Probably way too many of us live with the burden of this kind of hell in our lives, and I don’t think that this is how God wants us to live.
In Pastor Erik’s sermon this past Sunday, he asked us each to consider the burden from which we would have God release us. Like the woman whom Jesus called forward to be healed so she could stand up straight (Luke 13:10-17), Jesus calls each of us to be unshackled from whatever holds us back or weighs us down. God would have us be delivered from our own hells, too.
In all my years of working with people with dementia, my own father included, I saw many examples of people reliving traumatic moments in their lives in a seeming loop. We can easily blame this on the disease of Alzheimer’s or other forms of cognitive decline. Yet, any one of us, without the cause of dementia, might be reliving moments we regret, and doing so can block us from living fully in the present. I know this is true for me. I hesitate to name one of these instances, because each instance really puts me in a bad light (at least that what I fear). I do remember in sixth grade I said something quite unkind to another sixth grader, joining other kids in mocking him. What I did was hurtful. I can now for the life of me think of why I did this. This was 47 years ago, and it still bothers me.
When such instances come up, I often think, “Do I really believe the Christian message of forgiveness?” Each week in worship, we pray together for forgiveness and to experience God’s loving grace. And I, as a minister of the Gospel, proclaim the good news, “We are forgiven in Jesus Christ!” This is good news. And yet, some part of me holds back from completely feeling or knowing this forgiveness to be true.
What are we to do if we hold some part of ourselves back from embracing and being embraced by the liberating grace of God?
Well, this week, I’ve started picturing myself, each time a regret-filled memory pops up, burdened down like the woman from Luke 13. And then there is Jesus calling me forward, laying his hands on me and saying, “Michael, you are set free from your infirmity.” Then I picture myself standing up straight, unfettered from guilt, shame, and self-loathing. Maybe I even dance with the Lord of the Dance, expressing gratitude and joy for what God has done. I may have to do this over and over again. It’s like when someone asked Jesus, “How many times must I forgive someone else?” and Jesus said, “How about 70 times 7 times?” Forgiveness takes practice.
Do you know the story of the boy who was plagued with epilepsy, about whom Jesus said, much prayer and fasting is needed for healing in situations like this? Some of us have heard the message of God’s forgiveness so many times, yet we don’t allow ourselves to experience the release, We may need to continue in faith,with prayer, imagination, (and maybe some therapy), to be delivered from whatever binds us. We persevere.
Thanks be to God that, in this healing work in which we are involved, we are not alone. We need community, and the community needs us too. We walk alongside others who are waiting for and working toward the release they most need. And Jesus calls us, each one individually and as a community to hear this good news, “________________, you are set free from whatever weighs you down. I am here with you through it all.”
Forgiveness takes practice, forgiving others and forgiving ourselves. Jesus show us the way he unburdens us and causes us to step out of the never-ending loop of our private hells. “God is light and in him is no darkness at all.” Let us step into the light into which Jesus calls us.