Christmas Chaos

Wednesday, December 3, 2025
written by Rev. Leah Quarles

Trigger Warning: This will probably upset some people. 

Each year, as the Christmas season approaches, I witness a lot of stressed-out people. (Mostly moms, let’s be real.) Somehow, we’ve turned the most simplistic day into a chaotic, stressful, exhausting mess. Really - think about the first Christmas. There was not even a hotel room, but rather the only shelter Mary and Joseph could find. Sparkling stars became their decor and the sounds of everyday life—their soundtrack. This is the world Jesus came into; this is how Jesus was welcomed into the loving arms of his early parents. 

Without all the hubbub, the world changed. And yet - we certainly get swept up into the hubbub. Everyone has a party to attend, white elephants, secret Santas, Elf on the Shelf. Decorating, baking, prepping. Yada yada yada. And here’s the thing–I see so many people running themselves ragged trying to make this holiday so amazingly magical for their kids, for others, that it’s not at all enjoyable for themselves. Honestly, they aren’t so enjoyable to be around either because they are so bitter about it all, and yet they can’t even see how they are acting. They are so focused on what needs to get done that they don’t realize it’s actually not a need. 

There, I said it. Very few of those extra things need to happen. Those are all lovely ideas. Sure, your house looks Instagrammable. But for what? For who? I know that answer - ’my kids’. But chances are, your kids actually don’t need those or want them either. “Sure, they do.” Actually, no, they probably don’t. And if they are old enough to say they want it, then they are old enough to partake in it. Here, now you have a helper. 

But hear me out. We adults tend to put pressure on ourselves to live up to an expectation that our kids don't even have of us. What would it look like to let all the things go to make room for what could be? And what could be has the chance of being way more meaningful for you and the whole family. 

Rev. Kristin Willlett led our Pinnacle Moms group in a thoughtful exercise on this exact struggle. Using paper and pen, we drew or jotted down what our perfect, comforting, life-giving, and soul-reviving Christmas morning would look like with our families. And afterwards, we shared them with each other. No one mentioned perfect decor or meals. Rather, all of us had simple dreams. Cozying up with our family and hot cocoa. Taking a walk outside after the presents are unwrapped. All of those dreams are realistic. And simple. And as Kristin shared, this is something we can actually dream up with our children. 

Invite your family to draw their own perfect Christmas. And see what your children tell you about what is most important to them. And then aim this Christmas to tend to only the one important thing you each want to do. Let the rest go and see how this changes your Christmas this year.

A Self-Care Christmas Poem: 
https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/twas-the-week-before-christmas 

Letting Kids Dream Up Christmas Video 
https://youtu.be/L6gJP8IdPwU